Sexual Orientation II

Then it came another question, this is much current actually.

Can a single person love more than one single person?

Because I mean, that guy is far in the past, but I'm still rather sure that if he asked me to go out with him, but as fellow boyfriends, the answer will be yes with no question whatsoever.

(But if its you, who doesn't know me who asked me out, I'll refuse his hand in that very instant to go in both your arms, really...)

Yes! These two sentences really summarize my feelings. So love has this kind of hierarchy? I wonder. Friends would be in the bottom, as you love them a lot but usually have more than one. Then there go best friends, which you may have one or two. Acquaintances are out of this pyramid and are the supporters of it: with no acquaintances you could never make new friends, nor new best friends. Everyone of these had started as an acquaintances, and a person who has none of them is in a really high risk of breaking the pyramid, as this is not really a pyramid but a cicle: friends come and go, and really few remain, so to balance the cicle you need new acquaintances to adjust the common lost of friendship you're doomed to.

Sorry,but friendship is cruel, you must know it. Even I had lost a best friend one time.

Okay so to not confuse you lets say you're watching that pyramid from the sky, so its kind of an square, then imagine a circle stream which is always flowing clockwise (anticlockwise does the thing as well)

Then friends are those fishes you have in the stream, you love them, and they are really colorful, or monocrhome, depending on the variety of friends you make. My advise is to have a colorful river, so that you can always find a fish that can understand the colour of your feelings, be it blue or green: its really difficult to always remain the same colour

I mean, hasn't your favorite colour changed since you were a child? Mine had, of course, and that is the main proof I have to stand up for a colorful river.

Then acquaintances are those people who enter daily, and go. Some call them tourist, but there are always a few cleaners and restorers within them. They always feed the fishes, as each conversation makes a bond between friends get stronger. Also, the pyramid needs to be kept clean if not your fishes will eventually die, the same way that ignoring your friends for a really long period may cause damages to your bond with them.

Thats why you need acquaintances. Fishes die, and someone needs to take them out of the river before you see it and get sad. And then, they may replace it with new fishes when you start to knew more about this fairly known acquaintance.

On some corners, there are what you may call family. Not everyone has them, as this pyramid may be conical or squared in the base, but having them cam make it stronger. Also, an squared pyramid is much easy to construct that a conical one (why if not Egyptians have built it that way. Egypt is cool, too cool to create the best pyramid in the world. Nevertheless, conical pyramids are also great, just love your pyramid).

Then, on the small island it remains in the inner part of the pyramid, you have best friends; fishes who really want to help you, and had found the way to live with you, and thus God gave them human flesh. (Yes I know, every friend and acquaintance have human flesh but when you're not even able to hug or cry on them, what worth has it even got?)

However, I still don't see a place for those lovers apart from the best-friends part. I mean there is no more space on the pyramid, and leaving them outside would be cruel. On the other hand, letting them hanging from the walls is even crueler.

You know, best friends and lovers are always in that small island.

Thought they are fishes anyway, and they do die as well. Problems, troubles, those things make them recover their gills, and they may die in their way to the stream, or become friends again

...Or even acquaintances

But they live for sure with your lover. Thats why your lover must also be your best friend: You may have that strong love for him, but if he's not suitable for the best friend island, he will either kill your best friends, or be killed by them.

And I'm pretty sure you'll prefer him to be killed, or his gills and scales returned if not, your island will perish, and so your soul will do.

So there you go, where the fuck is that separation? Nowhere. I can promise you I could live forever with my best friends, could live forever with a real true lover (if I had one) and the prove for it to be my true lover is that he could live forever with my best friends.

So that's it. Best friends and lovers are almost the same thing. One may say that you actually share a sexual attraction with a lover. But I can assure you I had felt a really strong sexual attraction for a best friend, and we remain as friends even now.

And love has the same shape in friends, lovers, childs, and pets. Love is the same in all of those because when you feel love you feel great and that's love main point.

Okay so it's already six o'clock and I have lots of homework yet to do. This entry will be published a day after I wrote it so... See you!

Sexual Orientation I

But why a his I mean, I am in no way trying to disregard women, her gender, or any part of their body. Girls, ladies, being feminine is in no way bad, thus please don't see this as a misogenist entry, but a guy with no idea about his sexuality tring to greet it.

As his face got deeper into my heart, I couldn't stop myself from nurturing it, more and more. Then, I realiced: To remove his roots meant to pull out my heart in an instant. 

Maybe it is that smell, which makes you feel save, those eyes, that can tear out anything disturbing, that warmness so calm that makes you so blind. That is why I love guys, (though this sentence is quite gay, hey! Today's conffessions day! (Enough double consonants in there?))

Why not pansexual. I mean, I think I'm really pansexual-mental at least I could love someone without taking in account being a he/she/them or whatever pronoun they feel like using. The think I'll never get is that separation between a friend's love and a lover's love. How many people had fallen in love with his/her/their best friend in the past two years: a lot. I include myself in that group too, I had a best friend whose arms were just all the time that hot. In both a sexual and temperature way, I mean. And his tummy, he was a bit chubby and at the same time really fit because of swimming. He had done swimming for quite a few years, so he was just so strong and huggeable at the same time.

I could still fall for him, I think sometimes.

But then you come into my mind and I forget about it. Really. I'm pretty sure you will be twice or more as warm.

The case is that why is it there this huge separation between a friend and a lover?

This best-friend of mine actually had a girl that had fallen for him. ACTUALLY we were both three really good friends and had this group of Viber where we talked really a lot.

So we were in fact both in love of him. And he, unexperienced in love (and has been like this up to now) did never realized this fact.

Even though it was so SO crystal white. I mean, I was cuddling with him for a whole film once and just said "Oh god you seem to be really happier than any other time in your life". I mean, really?

I just hope he doesn't read this and remain ignorant of it his whole life. Thought it certainly be interesting to see what face he will show when telling him of this. I'll think of it, for sure.

In fact this guy has a really interesting point in this new investigation of love attraction that a child of almost 18 years is about to start.

He has this flaviophilia which he auto-baptized and defends that he absolutely loves blonde hair. It turns he on and all those things.

But just why.

So that girl I mentioned before had the courage to tell him she loved him. I didn't saw his reaction, however, I can get an idea from what he told me later on, on a walk we took.

I really didn't know what to say on that very moment I felt... Cheated on, betrayed. She was my friend and even so she now says she loved me. What a huge fool. Now I will never be able to see her as my friend, anymore.

God my heart felt so shattered when he ended that sentence that I remained a full 600 seconds (5 minutes) without speaking at all. He is a great guy, I really mean it, really child and close minded in love affairs, but a great person nonetheless.

On the other hand now I was really confused on this matter, and it helped me a lot in a phylosophycal way on investigating love: why did he made a line between friendship and love.

Moreover, why did he attached love to a physical characteristic. Being blonde, does that mean I will never had not even a chance of wining your heart, just because of my hair's colour?

Of course that's far in the past and now I'm not that in love with him. But the same question keeps popping in my mind, and I'm still without an answer for it.