Sexual Orientation II

Then it came another question, this is much current actually.

Can a single person love more than one single person?

Because I mean, that guy is far in the past, but I'm still rather sure that if he asked me to go out with him, but as fellow boyfriends, the answer will be yes with no question whatsoever.

(But if its you, who doesn't know me who asked me out, I'll refuse his hand in that very instant to go in both your arms, really...)

Yes! These two sentences really summarize my feelings. So love has this kind of hierarchy? I wonder. Friends would be in the bottom, as you love them a lot but usually have more than one. Then there go best friends, which you may have one or two. Acquaintances are out of this pyramid and are the supporters of it: with no acquaintances you could never make new friends, nor new best friends. Everyone of these had started as an acquaintances, and a person who has none of them is in a really high risk of breaking the pyramid, as this is not really a pyramid but a cicle: friends come and go, and really few remain, so to balance the cicle you need new acquaintances to adjust the common lost of friendship you're doomed to.

Sorry,but friendship is cruel, you must know it. Even I had lost a best friend one time.

Okay so to not confuse you lets say you're watching that pyramid from the sky, so its kind of an square, then imagine a circle stream which is always flowing clockwise (anticlockwise does the thing as well)

Then friends are those fishes you have in the stream, you love them, and they are really colorful, or monocrhome, depending on the variety of friends you make. My advise is to have a colorful river, so that you can always find a fish that can understand the colour of your feelings, be it blue or green: its really difficult to always remain the same colour

I mean, hasn't your favorite colour changed since you were a child? Mine had, of course, and that is the main proof I have to stand up for a colorful river.

Then acquaintances are those people who enter daily, and go. Some call them tourist, but there are always a few cleaners and restorers within them. They always feed the fishes, as each conversation makes a bond between friends get stronger. Also, the pyramid needs to be kept clean if not your fishes will eventually die, the same way that ignoring your friends for a really long period may cause damages to your bond with them.

Thats why you need acquaintances. Fishes die, and someone needs to take them out of the river before you see it and get sad. And then, they may replace it with new fishes when you start to knew more about this fairly known acquaintance.

On some corners, there are what you may call family. Not everyone has them, as this pyramid may be conical or squared in the base, but having them cam make it stronger. Also, an squared pyramid is much easy to construct that a conical one (why if not Egyptians have built it that way. Egypt is cool, too cool to create the best pyramid in the world. Nevertheless, conical pyramids are also great, just love your pyramid).

Then, on the small island it remains in the inner part of the pyramid, you have best friends; fishes who really want to help you, and had found the way to live with you, and thus God gave them human flesh. (Yes I know, every friend and acquaintance have human flesh but when you're not even able to hug or cry on them, what worth has it even got?)

However, I still don't see a place for those lovers apart from the best-friends part. I mean there is no more space on the pyramid, and leaving them outside would be cruel. On the other hand, letting them hanging from the walls is even crueler.

You know, best friends and lovers are always in that small island.

Thought they are fishes anyway, and they do die as well. Problems, troubles, those things make them recover their gills, and they may die in their way to the stream, or become friends again

...Or even acquaintances

But they live for sure with your lover. Thats why your lover must also be your best friend: You may have that strong love for him, but if he's not suitable for the best friend island, he will either kill your best friends, or be killed by them.

And I'm pretty sure you'll prefer him to be killed, or his gills and scales returned if not, your island will perish, and so your soul will do.

So there you go, where the fuck is that separation? Nowhere. I can promise you I could live forever with my best friends, could live forever with a real true lover (if I had one) and the prove for it to be my true lover is that he could live forever with my best friends.

So that's it. Best friends and lovers are almost the same thing. One may say that you actually share a sexual attraction with a lover. But I can assure you I had felt a really strong sexual attraction for a best friend, and we remain as friends even now.

And love has the same shape in friends, lovers, childs, and pets. Love is the same in all of those because when you feel love you feel great and that's love main point.

Okay so it's already six o'clock and I have lots of homework yet to do. This entry will be published a day after I wrote it so... See you!

The non-attended birthday party

So let's resume a bit the situation.

Today it was a friend's birthday party, but I didn't go. I haven't gone in all these 3 or 4 years that my parents have been divorced, as I always spent half-July and almost full-August at my father's home, really far away from where I use to live with my mother (like 1000 km far more less). So even though I though that fact was almost made really clear, I was included in a group for organizing this birth-day party.

As I wasn't even going to be able to go, I really did ignore a lot this group. I mean, I'm not really into Whatsapp, so most of the time is just annoying... You know, just doing something and then get a new message from a 20 people group from where you just know 10 people and the other 10 are completely strangers, but they just keep on talking most of the time ignoring that you're even there. Which is great! They get able to chat and then I just have to have a look to all the messages in order to know if there are any important news, and just say something from time to time to not be just a phantom in there.

But this time was different. I'm really extroverted with nearly-everyone, but just if I al least know something about them, but this group really had like 8 people I knew nothing of, so I just ignored. I really thought that someone would say something like: "But isn't him with his father now? He won't be able to come." And that was all. But nope. 

I'm a bit awkward in some things, and one of those is that I HATE having people telling me what to do or just having to follow some rules in order to be ok with people. I'm more like the kind of person that will always be there, but you'll first have to knock in the door, as it is really difficult for me to go out. Is not that I don't want, it is just that my personality is that way, you know. For me, it is really unnatural to start a conversation with just a "Good morning" and nothing to say apart from that. I think that's just useless, completely useless, and I really get on my nerves while having a "hello-hello-how are you?-Great and you?-Fine as well, thanks" or kind of that. 

So as I said before, after having been in that group like for... A week? No one said that. All my other friends already knew it, but this kind of "main group of friends" really had no idea. 

It was just so wow. I mean, This group has like 2 or 3 years, and for a teenager that's kind of a lot, and yet no one remembered it, or was just waiting for me to say it.

In fact, I said nothing not because I wanted to wait for them to say it, but just because I barely read Whatsapp, is not like I say "let's not read whatsapp!"- With an evil smile. Is just that I don't know, is it really that strange?

Anyway, today, my closest friend from that group said something like "you're going to say that you're with your father, and therefore not able to come, are you?" With this type of almost coercing tone, and I was just like "but what do you want me to say, isn't it clear, you know?" And so.

So at this very moment, they must be at the beach. I just keep on studying Greek subject, and up to now I haven't said anything in that group. Not because I don't want to, is more like I don't feel like doing it.

From the start, that group of friends is really strange, as it mingles very different types of people. We are 6 girls and 4 boys. From that 6 girls, they've got also a separate group just for them six, so they must seem really unite, but the truth is that there are 2 best friends (Tere and Maria, from who Tere is kind of the leader of the group, always organizing things, and Maria is more the "average girl", but a really funny person as well), one lovely girl who is also near friend of them two (Marina), another little but cute anyway girl who is extremely pessimistic and always talking about bad things and the other 9 in the group trying to reassure her somehow (Marta), but even so she's not very in touch with the first 2 best friend pair and talks more with the lovely girl. Another girl is more like of clumsy, I don't mean she's always falling down but she's just a bit... Limited? In a good way, it's a really nice person, and really really cute (Teresa), and the last of them is Paula, who has gotten lately into some discussions with them and is the more "different" person, I think, she loves american series and heavy and rock music, whilst the others are more kind of pop-lovers.

This differences in music styles really make a huge difference between them. Tere loves Maroon 5, Maria loves Taylor Swift, I don't know what does Marina likes nor what does Teresa but Marta adores Imagine Dragons, and Paula loves Red Hot Chili Peppers, Metallica, Nirvana, etc.

So from the boys, we are on one side Ale and me, continuing with the music description Ale loves Lady Gaga and I just love a lot of japaneses music, being Mami Kawada my favourite singer (It's really common that you don't know her, no one knows her. Someday I'll make a post talking about her, I promise) and I also like Paramore, not enough for being a parawhore but well. On the other side, there are Puti and Molu, both are called the same real name, Pablo, but casually both had gotten nicknames, and about them I don't really know much, sorry.

Basically, this group is some kind of a fruit salad, it's delicious when you have all the ingredients, but if not, you must put together ingredients who get on well. You cannot mix just some rice with some carrot, but if you add a bit of lettuce and some omelet, ham, green peas, and a bit of soy sauce, you'll have a really nice recipe for an delicious rice. But just mixing omelet with soy sauce will not taste well. 

Out of that example, I would be the lest-fitting in ingredient, as my personality and hobbies (anime, visual novels and a bit of gaming) is not shared with anyone of them.

That has made me have a bit of an out-of-place feeling, but well, I'll have to live with it. 

I think that after this birthday party I'll have a bit of an argument with the whole group, but well, it's not really the first time so I'll try to apologize and make things go smooth.

Have I done well? Haven't I? This post has been far too long? Enough? Short?

See you!