/V Diary

Okay so uhm i need to tell you this because its just making me crazy so

You know, i… Have a really strong crush on you

I know its impossible but in my heart there will always shine that spark of fire that burns me in such a tender way

I just need you to tell me that that's impossible. Just a “oh god stop dreaming you spanish dumbass guy” or a "stop messaging me you suck" would be fine. I need to cry this fantasy off somehow as it hurts so much…

Im writing this on a late night, when I'm still awake and just think and think about what would you be doing and how could I make you smile… I really want to know more about you however if I do so then the number of things that reminds me of your face will increase and I fear that the entire world connects to that bright smile you and just you are able to wear...

Its just so silly… Without knowing nothing about you I fell on this huge well, and just realised when I had water up to my neck. I dont want to drown so please…

Sometimes I also thought things like: Will there be university… College, whatever type of grant to go there and just meet him in real life and… Oh god and everything. I just hate this silly ocean that had to be precisely here, there are lots of worlds without water, look Mars! He would be so happy with a little blue in his surface. And then realized that if that came true possibly we wouldn't have been born so

And then hear your voice, notice your smell. You may have laughed at that sillyness of mine, and for a moment, I've made you giggle, and i would giggle too and then hug you as much as you would let me.

I’m pretty sure he’ll have a sweet smell, and not a really deep voice. English must sound so soothing from his lips now, there is always a voice speaking like that in my mind and it's just so annoying... Having a bilingual brain its strange, I can't even think if my english accent suits me or not, and ugh. I wouldn't like to make a fool of myself when we meet...

Ugh but why do I keep thinking about the same thing god

Lately, thought I usually put a great efford in recalling dreams to help my creative writing, I'm scared to do it… Im sure you were on my last dreams, just being by my side would be fine, each of us working in our respectives things. one and other sitting on the same sofa, with our arms touching while tipping. Im sure that you would help me find what my vocation is, I don't realize yet why, but I know it. My heart knows it, and I would just love to offer you a hand in any kind of anything you may need.

To greet you each day with a huge smile and a homemade dinner…

Did you knew I’m an awesome cook? The great problem is that neither my dad or mum like tasting new foods, so I can just cook for myself sometimes. Also the available food supply I can get with my money its not really wide, but well, making new things and experimenting with food is just so fun...

God if I continue I’ll really cry… For sure…

I dunno if this will ever reach you, i just hope I someday will be able to send this to you

So you can end this hopeless love story when you receive it.

Or give the small hope my selfish heart is craving for. But that would hurt you and I dont want to hurt you. Just a “no” would be fine… So please…

My heart much love so much to suffer… I cannot understand anything. Why. Why does it has to be you? Why does it have to defy the impossible? The irrational?

Love was so beautiful in those series, in those books,… Is this the real suffering they had to bear?

Just how would your heart sound? Is the only thing that I can think right now... How will my heart react to your heart, and what kind of melody would they made while together on a cold winter night...

You know, today's sky is so bright, and full of stars...

I just hope this love of mine doesn't leave many scars

Will I ever be able to create a home, ours?

My heart someday hopes to travel all those plane hours

And shine with yours, as those high stars.

Silly poem I JUST MADE BECAUSE YOU SAID NO one ever... Did... It...

Oh god just stop it.