Sexual Orientation I

But why a his I mean, I am in no way trying to disregard women, her gender, or any part of their body. Girls, ladies, being feminine is in no way bad, thus please don't see this as a misogenist entry, but a guy with no idea about his sexuality tring to greet it.

As his face got deeper into my heart, I couldn't stop myself from nurturing it, more and more. Then, I realiced: To remove his roots meant to pull out my heart in an instant. 

Maybe it is that smell, which makes you feel save, those eyes, that can tear out anything disturbing, that warmness so calm that makes you so blind. That is why I love guys, (though this sentence is quite gay, hey! Today's conffessions day! (Enough double consonants in there?))

Why not pansexual. I mean, I think I'm really pansexual-mental at least I could love someone without taking in account being a he/she/them or whatever pronoun they feel like using. The think I'll never get is that separation between a friend's love and a lover's love. How many people had fallen in love with his/her/their best friend in the past two years: a lot. I include myself in that group too, I had a best friend whose arms were just all the time that hot. In both a sexual and temperature way, I mean. And his tummy, he was a bit chubby and at the same time really fit because of swimming. He had done swimming for quite a few years, so he was just so strong and huggeable at the same time.

I could still fall for him, I think sometimes.

But then you come into my mind and I forget about it. Really. I'm pretty sure you will be twice or more as warm.

The case is that why is it there this huge separation between a friend and a lover?

This best-friend of mine actually had a girl that had fallen for him. ACTUALLY we were both three really good friends and had this group of Viber where we talked really a lot.

So we were in fact both in love of him. And he, unexperienced in love (and has been like this up to now) did never realized this fact.

Even though it was so SO crystal white. I mean, I was cuddling with him for a whole film once and just said "Oh god you seem to be really happier than any other time in your life". I mean, really?

I just hope he doesn't read this and remain ignorant of it his whole life. Thought it certainly be interesting to see what face he will show when telling him of this. I'll think of it, for sure.

In fact this guy has a really interesting point in this new investigation of love attraction that a child of almost 18 years is about to start.

He has this flaviophilia which he auto-baptized and defends that he absolutely loves blonde hair. It turns he on and all those things.

But just why.

So that girl I mentioned before had the courage to tell him she loved him. I didn't saw his reaction, however, I can get an idea from what he told me later on, on a walk we took.

I really didn't know what to say on that very moment I felt... Cheated on, betrayed. She was my friend and even so she now says she loved me. What a huge fool. Now I will never be able to see her as my friend, anymore.

God my heart felt so shattered when he ended that sentence that I remained a full 600 seconds (5 minutes) without speaking at all. He is a great guy, I really mean it, really child and close minded in love affairs, but a great person nonetheless.

On the other hand now I was really confused on this matter, and it helped me a lot in a phylosophycal way on investigating love: why did he made a line between friendship and love.

Moreover, why did he attached love to a physical characteristic. Being blonde, does that mean I will never had not even a chance of wining your heart, just because of my hair's colour?

Of course that's far in the past and now I'm not that in love with him. But the same question keeps popping in my mind, and I'm still without an answer for it.